i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
