a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
