I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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