I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
