It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
