My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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