ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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