Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
