My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
