Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
