Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
