belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
