My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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