My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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