i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
