only you would photoshop your dick
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
