I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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