Whod you bang
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
