oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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