yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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