His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
