I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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