Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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