FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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