Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
