I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Randomize
