I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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