It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Randomize
