I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
