It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
