The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
