Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
