my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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