oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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