Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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