i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
