It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
