I think my fart just growled at me.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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