I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
