Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
