so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize