Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
