my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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