some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
