You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Randomize
