Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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