have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
