Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
