this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
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