So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
