waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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