you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
