Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
