i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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