I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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