What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
