Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
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