I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
