I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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