How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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