So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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