im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
