oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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