I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
