I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
